Like a Mother

Redefining Motherhood

New Year's

My 2018 Word for the Year: Nourish

Last year, I jumped on the bandwagon of replacing resolutions with selecting a word for the year. My word for 2017 was freedom, and for the first half of the year, I embraced it and let it guide me. I wrote openly and honestly, I followed my heart, and I sought new opportunities that helped me find the freedom to be me.

And then, on July 10th, my Dad died. I became the peanut butter in the sandwich generation, shifting immediately into caretaker mode for my mother who has her own health issues, and my freedom to think, write, act, and follow my own path took a backseat to all the things that had to be done, and to the people who needed me.

If you’ve ever taken one of those quizzes that identifies your personality type, mine is NOT caretaker. It’s not even close to caretaker. It’s not something that comes easily to me at all. However, it’s something I’ve been doing for 12 years since the birth of my first son with special needs, so I’ve adapted and learned to do what doesn’t come easily, but that doesn’t mean I like it.

And when life hands me something I don’t like, I get overwhelmed, and I shut down. I procrastinate. I don’t take care of myself. I ruminate. I obsess. I don’t sleep. I eat like crap. I get stuck in the downward spiral of my monkey mind, and I let negativity win.

I noticed myself making more impulse buys. I was binge eating again. I was dropping the ball, often. I didn’t follow through on commitments. I also felt like total crap. I got sick. My body wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy. And I’m still not happy.

I don’t always practice what I preach, and when a friend is stuck with something, I’ll often say, “You can be bitter, or you can be better.” Lately though, I’ve been bitter.

Now it’s time to be better.

And by better, I mean better to myself.

Nourish

Why did I choose nourish as my word?

I sat with myself and thought of all the things I wanted to gain from this coming year. Words that emerged were: grounded, balance, self-care, success, rest, and choice.

I looked at those, and it was obvious that I needed to focus on bringing myself back to center, but I also launched a new business in 2017 that is thriving. And if I want that growth to continue, it will need more of my attention. What word could support that growth and success, but also support my self-care?

And that’s when I found nourish. Nourish fit all that I’m hoping to achieve in 2018.

I will nourish myself. I’ll nourish my body with healthier food choices, and more regular physical activity, and with more rest.

I will nourish my soul by exploring new spiritual practices and making time to meditate. My soul also longs to explore new places, and nourishing my wanderlust is important, so I will find ways to travel more.

I will also nourish my business. I’ll focus on opportunities, and when presented with them, I will ask the questions, “Does this nourish my business? Will this help me grow?” I’ll also nourish the team I’ve built with training and encouragement.

In addition, I need to nourish the relationships in my life. The time I spend with my children — is it meaningful? Does it nourish our relationship? My relationship with my husband has lacked intimacy, so I will look at ways I can nourish that need as well. And my friendships… I did a lot of taking from my friends in 2017. I needed them, and they were there for me. Now I will return that favor and nourish those relationships that mean the most to me.

When I break down all the ways I can add nourishment, it actually seems like a bit too much. Can I really add all of this to my life this year? But the truth is that even if each area is only improved in small way, I’ll be more satisfied with my life, and I will be happier. Nourishing the areas that have been neglected will only make me better, and life is too short to be bitter.

Word to Your (Like A) Mother 2017

The year we will forever know as 2016 is coming to a close. I don’t know about you, but this year has been a bit rocky for me. It started out with a bang. I had big plans, but then life threw some unexpected curve balls, and I found myself joining the throngs screaming a big old “F-you!” to 2016.

In recent years, I haven’t been one for resolutions, and quite honestly, I have never been a huge fan of New Year’s Eve or Day – too many expectations, and far too many years of watching that silly ball drop alone have made me jaded. Lately I find myself focusing on MY new year, my birthday, which was in late November. It’s a day when the only expectations are my own.

But a new trend (or at least new-to-me trend) has sparked my interest in the new year, and especially after 2016 fell a bit flat for me, I am ready to give it a try. It’s choosing a word for the coming year.

I started hearing a little about picking a word for the year last new year’s, but didn’t pay much attention. I mean, it sounded cool – picking a word as your word of the year – but how was this going to help me? I just couldn’t see it… or maybe I didn’t want to.

But the idea appeared again this year, and this time I paid attention. It popped up a few times, which is typically a sign from the universe that I need to put on my listening ears and engage with the idea. Most recently, it came in the form of a book written and shared by Nicole Lewis-Keeber and her cousin Michelle Lewis. The book is called The Resolute Word.

In the book, a short Kindle read, they share their experiences with finding and choosing a word and how it led them to start an online community. The idea wasn’t theirs exclusively, but how they are encouraging others to find their word, and the community they have built, make this idea more tangible.

My first misconception about the word of the year was that I should just pick a word, which to me seemed overwhelming. There are so many words, and so many things I’d love to see this coming year bring. How do I choose just one word? This is where The Resolute Word was incredibly helpful. Nicole and Michelle provide exercises to get the word choosing juices flowing. These ideas are things I never would have thought of, but are simple and require little more than quieting your mind and listening to yourself and the world around you.

Had you asked me before I read the book, I would have probably chosen the word love. I’m all about love, and it would seem the obvious choice for me. But love is not my word for 2017. After reading the book and doing the exercises, my word appeared like a Broadway marquis… and it’s definitely not love. What is it? You have to wait January 1st to find out!

Is the word of the year the new resolution? Who’s to say, but for me it feels right!

And if it feels right to you, I encourage you to download The Resolute Word to help you find yours. The book is free if you have Kindle Unlimited, and just $0.99 if you don’t. Also, Nicole and Michelle are donating all proceeds from the book through the end of January to help Syrian refugees, so you can help yourself with this guide, and you’ll be helping others with your purchase!

Then, come back here on January 1, 2017 to learn my word for the year, and how I came to choose it, or how it chose me, and share yours! And get ready to take on 2017 like a mother!